


Whitest Sneakers (The Office AU)

by stevesbluewhore



Category: The Office (US)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Jam, Jim Halpert - Freeform, Mutual Pining, Smut, The Office, dundies award night, pam beesly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:22:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24446530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stevesbluewhore/pseuds/stevesbluewhore
Summary: AU of what would happen if Pam had gone with Jim instead of Angela after the Dundies...
Relationships: Jam - Relationship, Jim/Pam, Pam Beesly/Jim Halpert, Pam Beesly/Roy Anderson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 112





	1. Whitest Sneakers

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first attempt at writing and posting an actual work of mine, so hopefully I've gotten all the errors out of it. Enjoy!

Jim weaved through the camera crew to get to the reception desk where Pam sat watching him with a broad grin. Michael was in his office prepping for his question segment, joking with the guy holding a boom mic. Everyone had slowly gotten used to the camera crew, and the daily routine of being pulled aside. Today marked the second year of filming, which now meant they were going to be there more often than last year. 

“So you ready for the Dundies?” He tapped the desk eagerly, barely able to contain his excitement. Pam groaned and pretended to go and hit her head against the desk, which made him chuckle. 

“You know tonight is the Dundies right? The annual employee awards night here at Dunder Mifflin? The best day of the year? C’mon, It’s your favourite.” He teased, clearly mimicking their boss. 

“Ugh. Kinda hard not to know what day it is. Michael's been saying the same thing over and over again so he could get it perfect in front of the camera.” 

“Oh really? I hadn't noticed…" He said in a low voice. He pointed at the candy jar quickly, noticing it had been replaced from stale toffees to vibrant strawberry wrappers. 

"What's all this?" He folded his arms to lean on the reception counter. 

"Oh, nothing much. I just overheard it was someone's favourite candy, and being the amazing receptionist that I am, I figured I'd stock up." She looked at him coyly. He grabbed the jar, pretending to inspect it.

"I don't know Beesly. I feel like this could be some kind of trick to try and lure me to your desk more often." He only half-joked, but Pam just scoffed and shook her head as she smiled. He continued to feign exaggerated suspicion as he squinted and lifted it slightly to the light. He remembered her first day there, and how he had immediately taken notice of her. He spent the entire morning to try and find a way to talk to her. An opportunity arose when he found they had the same break hours and she had just sat down with a mixed-berry yogurt.

_"This might sound weird, and there's no reason for me to know this, but that mixed-berry yogurt you're about to eat is expired."_

_"Oh, thank you." She said shyly._

_"No problem. And also, don't worry about your first day here. Everyone gets along fairly well. Just watch out for Dwight." He knew right then when Pam laughed that he would do anything to make her laugh again._

_"And I got you something…" Her eyes widened as he grabbed a clear glass jar from his desk, filled with golden toffees. "This is just to help get to know everyone, and for you to enjoy I guess." He felt nervous as he placed it gently on the edge._

He'll never forget the way she looked at him, with doe eyes and a broad smile.

He felt warm coming down from his flashback, focusing back on her again. She bit her lip and motioned towards the jar, urging him to take one.

"Y'know this might sound weird, and there's no reason for you to know this, but it just so happens that it's my absolute favourite." He smirked before reaching for a candy, slowly and carefully unwrapping it. Pam couldn't help but watch every move he made, and could barely tear her eyes away as he lifted the red candy to his lips. 

Michael began to saunter out of his office, and Pam made the mistake of making eye contact with him. 

“Oh god.” She said under her breath. Michael had that distracted look in his eye as he slowly walked over, eyeing the camera to make sure it was focused on him before he made a bad joke.

Jim quickly regained composure, standing up and putting his hands in his pockets casually. He cursed himself internally. Reality hit him like a freight train as he realized what their interaction could have looked like to everyone around him. He had been leaning way too close, borderline flirting with his best friend, who was engaged.

“Hey hey hey, it’s fat Halpert.” Michael said in a comically deep voice.

“What?” Jim couldn’t help but snap, as he was both annoyed with him and his own self. Other times, he could handle Michael's antics, but his usual self-control was thrown out the window. Pam had flinched at his sudden harsh-tone, which only made him feel worse. 

“Fat Halpert. Jim Halpert.” The trio looked at each other in silence, then Michael looked into the camera expectantly. As the silence dragged on for what seemed like forever, he moved on quickly with a loud chuckle.

“So why don’t I take you on a tour of past Dundie winners?” Jim could feel himself relax as the attention was now being focused elsewhere, but unfortunately it didn’t last long.

“We got fat Jim Halpert here, Jim why don’t you show your Dundies to the camera.” 

Jim threw a quick exasperated look at Pam, at which she only smiled.

“Oh I can’t, because I keep them hidden. I don’t want to look at them and get cocky.” He answered coolly. 

“Oh. Good idea.” Michael took the bait and quickly moved on.

Pam was giggling behind her desk as Michael led the camera to everyone else in the office.

“What’s so funny Beesly.” He was glad the previous moment had passed, and everything felt almost back to normal.

“Nothing… just your face.” She had that same glint in her eyes, which caused Jim to look away quickly. 

“What about it?” 

“You get this look, every time someone says or does something stupid. It’s like the classic Jim face.” She mimicked him by pursing her lips, and burrowing her eyebrows, trying to look as taken-aback as possible. Unknowingly, he made the exact face as he doubted Pam's alleged observation.

“See! That’s it! The one you just made” she exclaimed.

Jim was about to interject, but Michael called her from across the room.

“Oh and Pam, could you get some footage from past award nights? I want to make a highlight reel for everyone. And if you could get on that right away, that would be great.” 

Pam frowned, and nodded, before excusing herself quietly. Jim knew that Michael handed out the same award to Pam every year, which was frankly insulting and embarrassing for her. Guilt flooded him once again. He understood if she wanted to avoid tonight, but also didn't want to go without his best friend, which was why he was at her desk in the first place, to confirm her attendance. 

He couldn't help but feel all eyes were on him as he walked back to his desk, clutching the candy wrapper in his pocket.

The taste of artificial strawberry still lingered in his mouth.

“The Dundie award for Longest Engagement goes to Pam Beesly!”

Roy laughed as everybody clapped. She saw her own smile falter, despite knowing it was inevitable.

“Pam everybody! When is that girl gonna get married! That’s what I have to say. Ah, Roy’s accepting. Thank you, Roy, are there any words you’d like to say on Pam's behalf? 

“We’ll see you next year.” Scattered laughs could be heard coming from the tv. She looked at her younger self, hurt once again as that was their third year of being engaged. Roy’s excuse that year was that him and the warehouse workers were saving up to bet on horses, and that if they’d win, they could split the money and use it on the wedding. He promised that she'd get the wedding of her dreams, and everything she wanted. Naively, she had agreed.

They ended up losing all the money, and now they barely had enough to keep up with sharing an apartment, which meant no wedding this year either. 

Pam subconsciously began to toy with her necklace, which provided little comfort in the drafty meeting room. She could sense Jim shift in his seat from outside the room, which she quickly looked over and smiled sadly. He nodded in understanding, giving her his classic puppy eyes which tugged at her heart. He always seemed to know what she was thinking or feeling, and just looking at her brought her a sense of ease. 

At that point, she decided she was going to go regardless of what was going to happen. Even if it meant getting Longest Engagement for the fourth year in a row. 

She tuned in back to the video only to see that younger Jim had turned to glance at her. He didn't join in on the laughter and cheering like everyone else had. Her younger self had turned to meet him, not knowing what he was going to do next. She felt herself inhale sharply, vividly remembering what had transpired. Luckily, Kevin had moved in front of the camera recorder, obstructing the entire thing.

She laughed nervously and pointed at the tv.

"That's Kevin for you." Pam mumbled weakly. She tried to hide her previous nervousness as the crew filmed her every move, hoping the blush on her face wasn't obvious.

Arguing could be heard coming from the kitchen, causing the crew to abruptly move out of the room, finally leaving her alone. She sighed, sitting back in the hard wooden chair. She played with the band of her engagement ring, twisting it and trying not to think of that moment, but the scene replayed in her head. 

Her arm had been dangling from the side of her chair, as she sat frozen and dejected from the awards. Jim's movement had caused her to look at him, trying not to let the tears spill over. She felt his pinky lace hers and squeeze, quietly mouthing that it was going to be okay. She had nodded slowly, before having to let go as Roy called her name to hand over the trophy. She tried to play it off by holding the trophy up, which unleashed some cheers and whistles from a majority of the workers.

By the end of the night their chairs were nearly back to back, as they'd occasionally lean against each other and make physical contact. Her hand always happened to swing down and meet Jim's for a few seconds only to come back up as to not seem suspicious. It was subtle and unnoticed to everyone but themselves


	2. Whitest Sneakers (In Which The Dundies Commence)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAD to get out Ch.2 as soon as possible. I don't know if it's good or not, but I hope it's decent enough:)

Roy's hand was cold on her warm skin as he reached to grab her hand, walking briskly across the parking lot. She tried to hide her excitement while searching the parking lot, idly tugging at her pink blouse. 

"Who'ya lookin' for?" Roy huffed. 

"Oh um, Meredith. She promised to bring coupons." She only half-lied. Michael had announced unexpectedly that they would have to pay for their own meals, which prompted a bit of an out-cry from the staff. Meredith luckily had enough coupons for all the staff, as long as they'd pitch in to buy her booze for any upcoming event. Roy had been reluctant to go, constantly bringing up the idea of going to Poor Richard's instead, but Pam had begged him to come along. 

Her eyes met Jim's the second they walked in. She waved and smiled while Roy asked for a booth farthest from the mic. Darryl motioned them over to where he was sitting, along with a few other guys she didn't recognize.

She shifted in uncomfortably as she became overpowered by the men at the table. They talked loudly about work and the game that was on tonight. One particularly scruffy guy had his eyes on her, winking whenever she made the mistake of eye contact. By now she was used to Roy's shady friends, but that didn't stop the feeling of bile rise in her throat. She let her eyes drift across the room, only to stop on Jim who happened to already be looking at her. He grinned lazily and did a little head nod, before resuming conversation with the temp. 

She shifted focus onto the stage as Michael made his way to the mic. Both he and Dwight were dressed in tuxedos, which seemed almost gaudy at a fast-food restaurant. Everyone else was still wearing their work shirts and jeans. Pam had decided to change both, wanting to wear her favourite shirt that hugged her body and complimented her features, along with a well-worn pair of jeans. Roy had picked fun at her, only throwing on his work jacket and hoodie which probably hadn't been washed in over a week. 

"Thank you everyone for coming to the 2005 Dundie awards…" A deep electronic _oh yeah_ sounded from the speakers. Dwight smiled smugly from behind the soundboard, at which Michael cursed at him while failing to cover the mic. 

Pam went to share a look with Jim, but noticed everyone at her table began to stand up. 

"Hey what's going on?" She mildly panicked as they quickly shuffled out. 

"We're going to go watch the game." Darryl answered shortly.

"Hey where're you guys going? Show's just getting started, Pam." Michael called out from on stage. Pam knew everyone was watching her, so she bent her head down, rushing to catch up with Roy.

Jim watched them get up to leave with concern, noting the confusion in Pam's face. Ryan stood up as well, holding his phone in his hand.

"The guys are going to Poor Richard's, You coming?" the younger man rushed to get his coat on.

"Ah no, I think I'll just stick around here. Gotta eat somewhere, right?"

"Suite yourself." He didn't bother watching them leave. 

Pam was clutching on Roy's arm, trying to get him to face her. The cool breeze hit her face sharply as they were once again outside.

"Roy could you just fucking stop for a second? What's happening?" 

"Aren't you tired of that guy Pam? What's so important there anyways? It's just a huge fucking joke where that damn man-child just insults everyone for his own amusement." 

"How do you know that? It could be different this time. Please Roy could we just go back inside?" She knew full well that he was right, but she didn't want to be pushed around by him anymore. She was sick of him ignoring her and being pushed around.

"Because that's what happens every time. He's a jackass every year." He then grabbed her wrist roughly and she felt her heart pound in her chest.

"Come on, we're going to Poor Richard's."

"No I don't want to go," His tightened his grip which caused her to yell, "I don't want to!"

At this point, he let go and she turned swiftly to walk back inside. She half expected him to call after her, but she heard the truck engine turn on. She wiped away the tears that pricked her eyes, taking a quick moment to collect herself before going back inside. 

She let the warm light bathe her and bring her to the surface. _I'm going to have fun, and enjoy myself tonight._ Her heart was now beating steady in her chest, noticing that Jim was looking down at his beer, alone at a table. She slowly climbed onto the stool beside him, shaking Jim out of his stupor. 

"Hey, how are you? I thought you left." Jim looked a little shocked, not expecting her to be back alone. 

"Um no, I decided to stay." She said distractedly as she looked for the waiter. 

"Oh…" He looked around to confirm her statement, as if Roy was going to come storming back.

"Yeah, I'll just get a ride home from someone." She waved over to the waiter serving a few tables next to them, and he took note to not drink as much tonight for more than one reason. One was that he wanted to be able to drive himself home safely, and Pam if he had to. 

Michael started talking in a racist accent, which made several people in the audience groan.

"Oh good, I'm just in time for Ping. Um, can I get a drink? Whatever you have on tap is fine." She said quickly to the waiter. She smiled sheepishly at Jim, who only studied her in question. He could tell she was still nervous, and rattled by whatever had happened outside. She hugged herself tightly, letting her smile fall. He noticed her lip quiver a little, in which he leaned closer and reached halfway across the table before forcefully stopping himself from physical contact.

"Whatever happened with you and Roy will eventually work out. It'll get better Pam, don't worry. You guys will be back to normal before you know it." By now she held a sizable glass of beer, sighing heavily. She tried to believe in Jim's words, but something was holding her back as an ill feeling sat in her chest. 

"I don't know Jim, maybe." 

Pam continued to drink, and he watched over her worriedly in silence. Everyone received their awards, and only then would she cheer and clap. Michael had made a typo in Phylis' Dundie, which prompted a fit of drunken laughter from Pam. She slurped on her stolen margarita, finishing it's contents quickly. 

"I think those might be empty." He cautiously reminded her. 

"No, because the ice melts and then it's like second drink." She giggled.

"Second drink?" Her laugh was contagious.

Pam's cell chimed, causing her to quickly grab it off the table with a frown. Meanwhile, Michael started to sing a Dundie related parody to Tiny Dancer by Elton John, at which a couple of men booed at him from the bar. 

Pam read the text Roy had sent her over and over again.

_I won't be back tonight. Staying at Darryls._ She couldn't think of a way to respond to it, a million thoughts going through her head. 

"To finish off the awards, our last Dundie goes out to our very own Pamela Beesly…" Pam froze and looked at Jim in panic. 

"For whitest sneakers! Everybody please give a big round of applause." 

Jim smirked as she ran to the stage to accept her award. 

"I have so many people to thank for this award." She paused to look at everyone in the crowd.

"Okay, first off my Keds. Because I couldn't have done it without them. Thank you, and let's give Michael a round of applause for MC-ing tonight because this is a lot harder than it looks." She heard Michael mumble _that's what she said_ excitedly.

"And also Dwight too." She added. She continued to hold the mic tightly, resting her eyes on Jim before finishing her speech. 

"Um, so finally, I want to thank God. Because God gave me this Dundie. And I feel God in this Chili's tonight." Jim looked at her with amusement, standing up to clap as she cheered and held her Dundie proud in the air. 

She ran over to Jim, who held his arms out without thinking. Pam practically jumped into them, wrapping her arms tightly around him before grabbing his head to kiss him. He automatically leaned into her, but then pulled away quickly, remembering the cameras. She only laughed, and walked over to the bar where everyone else had moved to. 

He could still feel as though her lips were still pressed against his, his mind buzzing with adrenaline. Jim swallowed and pursed his lips while glancing at the camera, dismayed that they had caught it all. He didn't bother following her. 

"I think I'll just have a water please." Pam sat at the bar, leaning heavily against the counter. 

"Good call." Jim teased, sliding into the seat beside her.

"Oh hey, where were you?"

"Just um, taking a quick breath of air outside. Got kinda hot in here." He looked down, trying not to look at her. He had considered leaving, but thoughts of leaving Pam alone didn't sit right with him. What if she couldn't get a ride back? What if some creep started to bother her and she didn't have anyone around to help? 

And now here he was, sitting beside her trying to pretend nothing had happened. 

Pam quietly sipped at her water while November Rain played. She noticed an older woman point towards her while talking to one of the restaurant employees. She gave them a quizzical look as the man walked over.

"Excuse me ma'am, but I've been told you've been sneaking drinks. As you may know, we have a strict two beverage policy which means I'm going to have to ask you to leave." 

"I- this is water." She stuttered.

"You and your partner need to leave immediately, otherwise I'll have to call security." 

Pam tried to protest, but Jim put a hand on her shoulder, urging her to follow him.

She stood slowly, completely dumbstruck. Jim had a hand guiding her on the small of her back through the crowd and out the doors. Only when they were outside she began to laugh.

"I can't believe I just got kicked out of Chili's!" 

"Um, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Chili's, Beesly." He grinned.

"Ugh, I need to sit down again and process that." She continued to giggle as she made her way to a bench. 

They sat in silence, listening to cars drive by, and muffled chatter coming from inside. The air was sharp and crisp as she breathed in slowly, emptying lingering tension and any thoughts of Roy. By now he was probably passed out on his friend's couch, not intending to apologize in the morning or any time soon. 

The cool wind went right through the thin fabric of her shirt. She shivered, remembering she left her coat in the truck. Jim took notice, removing his jacket quickly to drape it over her shoulders. He let his hands linger, telling himself that it was only so that the jacket wouldn't slip off. She looked up at him appreciatively, murmuring a quiet thank you. She shifted over so that their legs and shoulders were touching, feeling heat radiate from him. She leaned her head on him while pulling the jacket on closer. He smelled like shampoo, while his jacket smelled like fire smoke. She wondered when he was last at a bonfire. Both scents were comforting as she nuzzled closer.

Jims heart raced, feeling heat spread to his face. His nerves buzzed where she was in contact, which was the entire left half of his side. He looked down at how her hair partially cascaded messily in front of her face. He wanted to enjoy this for as long as possible, but he knew he had to be the one to end it. 

_It's the right thing to do._ He chided himself.

"Pam…" He shifted slightly but stopped when she put a hand just above his knee. She looked just as shocked as he was. He looked down at her lips, which were parted slightly. He wanted to lean in so badly, to taste her properly. He wanted to hold her closer, among other unspeakable things. He sighed sadly, only letting his forehead meet hers. 

"We can't, Pam." She nodded gently, letting him grab her hand only to put it back onto her own lap. He sat up straight and looked ahead, already missing how close she was to him. 

They sat there until Angela pulled up in her car, stopping beside them. 

"Am I still driving you home?" She asked curtly.

"Oh, I guess I forgot I asked Angela to give me a lift while you were outside…" She sounded guilty, as if she had done something wrong.

Which they almost had. 

"Oh yeah, no worries." He said quickly. He forgot half of the office was still there, and they could've walked out on them at any point. 

She handed his coat over, relishing the cold. She had planned to just leave without saying anything, but something in Jim's face caused her to blurt out,

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah of course." She stared at him before making up her mind. 

"Actually Angela I think I'll just get home another way." The blonde woman scoffed and shook her head in disbelief before driving away.

"What now?" He kicked at the ground nervously.

"I'm sorry, I just…" She took in a shaky breath, "I just don't want to go home yet. Tonight. Alone." 

"Won't Roy be there?" He asked in confusion.

"He said he wasn't coming home." 

"We can drive around until you feel like going home." He figured by then Pam would be more sober, and that she'd be tired enough to just want to sleep in her own bed. And maybe by then she'd realize that she'd never want to talk to him ever again.


	3. Whitest Sneakers (The Drive)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry It took so long to get this last chapter up! It was difficult to write for the first time, but I'm hoping it's alright:) Enjoy!

He threw his jacket in the back before turning on the ignition, heat blasting through the vents. 

"Do you want the radio on?" She nodded. Hits from the 80s played quietly while they pulled out of the parking lot, suddenly enveloped in darkness. The streets were empty, save for the occasional car. 

"Hey let's play a game." She felt herself saying.

Jim only hummed in question.

"So what you do is you make up a story behind what the person in the car did that day, or what they planned on doing. Funniest or craziest stories win." Jim nodded slowly, giving in to the idea. 

"Okay you go first then. I don't want to make a mistake in front of a professional." She grinned, waiting for a pair of headlights to appear. After what seemed like a few minutes, A car pulled out from a side street, and she leaned over to the drivers side to peer through the window. Jim felt himself jump at her sudden close proximity, making him all too aware of just how nervous he was to be around her completely alone. Pam didn't seem to notice, mumbling as she took notes of the car. 

"Okay so I couldn't see the person, but it was a yellow buggy, so first off," She lightly punched his arm, "Punch buggy no returns!" 

"Aw c'mon Beesly that's not fair." He exclaimed while smiling. 

"Sorry Halpert, it's just the rules of the game."

"I highly doubt that. Dwight could charge you with aggravated assault." She giggled.

"Okay, I'm being serious now." She put on a straight face, clearing her throat.

"As I said before I assaulted you, It was a yellow buggy. Therefore they must be a woman in their late 30s, perhaps early 40s, who wears WAY too much leopard print. She probably just got back from a book club meeting but she left early so she could read a country boy erotica." She smiled smugly as Jim looked at her in surprise. 

"You pretty much just described a younger version of Phyllis." Pam threw her head back in a fit of laughter, clutching onto her sides. Jim couldn't help but join in, happy that she seemed more at ease. Another car drove by, forcing him to focus back on the road.

"Um lemme think… It looks like a convertible so… I'm making the assumption that they are definitely 35 exactly, driving home from his bosses house because he's sleeping with her. And also he's a manager at a paper company." 

"Hey! You can't use real stories. That's cheating…" She playfully hit his arm.

"Well you did it first, so I figured I'd get a free pass."

"It was an accident. Apparently it's more common than you'd think."

She noticed a truck drive by, freezing still as she watched it drive by. At first she thought it looked familiar, but the shape was off. However she couldn't shake the bitter feeling that sat heavily in her chest.

"It's a truck. Obviously a 28 year old male, insensitive and completely full of himself. Doesn't care about his girlfriend who he lied about cheating on, and doesn't intend to pull through on planning a wedding date." She didn't know what possessed her to blurt that all out, and resented the hot tears threatening to spill over. 

"He cheated on you?" She wrapped her arms around herself and looked out the window.

"She's a bartender at Poor Richard's." _Probably went home with her tonight._

"I'm really sorry Pam." He reached over to comfort her despite himself. She put her own hand on his, not bothering to pull away. 

"I think tonight was our breaking point. Y'know? We've been engaged for four years, and I feel like it's going nowhere. I'm just not…" She took in a shaky breath, unable to finish her sentence. 

It was like living with a passive stranger, forcing her to be what he wanted her to be. She was drowning just below the surface around him, hoping that he'd genuinely love and care about her, hoping that waiting all this time wasn't for nothing. She didn't even feel like she could be herself. 

_I'm not happy_

She felt herself twist off her ring, cool wind blasting from the window as she opened it. Without a second thought, she tossed it, feeling lighter than she did before. It was like a sense of euphoria washed over her, like she threw a giant weight off of her chest that she had been carrying for too long. Jim let it all happen in stunned silence.

"Pull over." He didn't question her, turning on his signal despite there being no cars behind him.

"If we're going back to look for it, i'll have to turn around and drive back because-"

"I don't give a shit about the ring." 

"Oh okay…" At this point he didn't know what was going on. 

"Can I do something?" She asked quietly. He felt the energy shift and he swallowed thickly.

He nodded, taking her in. Only the moonlight illuminated her skin, and yet he could make out every detail. They way her dark eyes glimmered, full of yearning. He could feel her magnetic pull, and he was drawn in almost immediately. He made himself stop before their lips touched, barely an inch away. He reached up to brush her hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. He let his hand trail down to her shoulder, grasping lightly. He wanted to hold back as much as he could, only ending up leaving his hand on her forearm. Regardless, each trail he left was like electricity on her skin. Her face was burning, and she was trying to steady her breathing, desperate for him to make the last move. He leaned in, kissing the corner of her mouth softly while moving slowly to her jaw. She leaned in while gripping on to the shoulders of his shirt. Once there, he mouthed at the sensitive part of her neck, alternating between nipping and kissing it lightly. She felt herself jerk slightly each time, overwhelmed by the sensation of Jim suckling on her neck. She felt heat boiling in her lower stomach, full of need. 

"Hold on a second." Jim pulled back. She thought it was to stop, and her chest seized a little in despair. But then he adjusted his seat back, unbuckling. 

She watched with newfound hunger as he gestured with a finger to sit on his lap. He grabbed onto her hips, massaging his thumbs through the fabric. She inhaled shakily before crashing into his lips, finally getting back the contact she was craving. She let her tongue sweep against his, causing him to grip tighter on her hips. He felt himself lower her down, her skirt riding up slightly. He let one hand travel down to her thigh, alternating between squeezing and stroking in rhythm to their frenzied kiss. She inhaled sharply when his thumb brushed close to her inner thighs, her whimper being muffled by his mouth on hers. The sound she made sent him into a frenzy, bucking his hips up involuntarily. A shock of pleasure washed over them, causing her to moan. 

They both froze, pulling back immediately. 

"This might not be a good idea."

"Right…" She pulled herself off, awkwardly getting back into her own seat. 

"I just mean that this is all so fresh… and don't get me wrong, I want to." She looked over at him with doubt.

"I really want to." He paused before continuing. "But we should save this for when we're both ready." He couldn't describe how _alive_ he felt, how complete, but he knew Pam was still hurting and needed to heal before they went too far. 

"I'm sorry, I just… Feel like a huge mess." Reality hit her square in the stomach, making her feel nauseous, A wave of panic washed over her, realizing exactly what she had given up. Her entire structure of life came tumbling down because of a ring. 

"It's okay, seriously. You have every right to feel the way you do."

"I know but, It just hit me on how much this changes everything. I don't have my own apartment, I'd have to get my stuff back. God." 

"Well, first off I think God is still back over at Chilis, so I think we'll have to drive back and get him…" She smiled slightly, but Jim sighed.

"It's going to be okay Pam. Seriously. You're the strongest woman I know, and if anything, this will just make you more resilient than you already are. And I'll be there every step of the way if you wish."

"I'd like that."

"And If you want I have a futon you could crash on. Until you figure everything out." He held his breath, waiting for her response. He hoped his offer didn't go too far over the line.

"Thank you." She wiped her eyes.

The rest of the drive was silent as she leaned her head back. The heat blowing in her face added onto the feeling of drowsiness, her eyes feeling swollen from her tears. Jim gripped the steering wheel in thought, wondering how he should tread through the situation at hand. He didn't want to rush into it, with her still freshly un-engaged. She hadn't even told Roy yet, but he had no sympathy for the guy. He wondered how that would all go down, and to know that she had immediately jumped into a relationship with her coworker. He wanted to give her time, but he couldn't help but miss her touch.

He parked outside the building, glancing over as Pam stirred awake. Her hair was slightly mussed on one side, a stray curl sticking out awkwardly. He liked how peaceful she looked, but not a second later she opened her eyes, tucking her hair behind her ear. 

"Sorry, guess I dozed off." She whispered. Jim shrugged, reaching behind to retrieve his jacket, his hand accidentally bumping her arm. 

"Sorry." He mumbled.

"It's fine…" She felt tense as the air around them felt awkward. 

He silently handed over his coat, which she took while avoiding any contact. She draped the coat over her shoulders, greeted by the cool night air. They walked to the door at a respectful distance, as if any closer was some sort of a crime. She bit her lip, wondering why everything was suddenly weird. _Did I do something wrong?_

Her heart raced, refusing to make any eye contact or even risk looking at his face. She stood behind him as they climbed the stairs to his apartment floor, watching his shoulders tense when she got too close. The tension was close to unbearable when they got to his door, looking at everything but his hands fumbling for the right key. 

When he finally got it open, he flicked on the light. His place was disorganized to say the least, but it was the way it was exactly how she imagined that made her relax. He had vinyl covers on the wall and stacked on a shelf, along with a large collection of cds and a few books. She saw some of the ones she had bought him displayed there, smiling at the sight. Other than that, the living room took up a majority of the space, with minimal but large furniture. His futon was a mess, littered with clothes and cd cases, along with a few empty boxes. 

"Yeah I guess I forgot about that. I can get that cleared out for you in under ten minutes if you can wait." She considered how tired she felt, unsure whether or not she'd have enough patience to wait that long.

She said the words before she could even stop them, "Or I could just sleep in your room." 

"Oh." He didn't know how to respond at first, his mind going blank at the thought of her in his room. _She probably didn't mean that she'd want me with her_. He mentally chided himself, regaining his composure.

"Yeah of course, you can take my room and I'll just take the futon.. makes more sense anyway-"

"I meant together." She interrupted.

He clicked his tongue, "Ah…" He wanted to say no, but the way she looked at him hopefully made him give in.

"I promise I'll keep my hands to myself." She smiled awkwardly, making Jim chuckle.

"You better keep that promise Beesly." He looked down, remembering their crazed make-out session in his car. If it happened again, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to hold back this time.

He dug for a set of sweats and a t-shirt for Pam, figuring she wouldn't want to sleep in her work clothes. He handed them to her, feeling his hand brush against hers. Heat rose to his cheeks, when she didn't immediately pull away. They both turned away quickly, and the second she was out the door, he exhaled a breath he didn't know he was holding. He shrugged off his shirt, pulling on a simple grey tee. He took his jeans off, wondering if he should put on a pair of shorts or remain in his boxers. He stood there debating on what to do, when Pam walked in only wearing his shirt. It was comically large, the hem going halfway down her thighs like a nightgown. He got it from his dad, but never wore it due to its size, but it was the only comfortable shirt he had. Everything else was either a hoodie or a dress shirt. Without a word, she turned off the light, making her way to his bed. He still felt frozen in place, wondering how the hell he was going to sleep comfortably with her image burned into his mind. 

Once he was able to breathe again, he timidly sat on the bed before carefully spacing himself beside her. He felt like a corpse, stiffly laying on his back while staring into the abyss. He was all too aware of Pam shifting beside him, picking up on every minuscule movement.

"s'cold." She mumbled sleepily, inching closer. Instinctively he lifted his arm as she snuggled his side. He hesitated, leaving his arm suspended inches around her, before finally placing it barely touching her back. He jumped slightly when her hand snaked slowly up his chest before stopping just above his heart. Surely she could feel how hard it was beating as she traced small circles, which made him short-circuit. He almost forgot how to breathe again, feeling like a teenage boy. His breath hitched when she started drawing lines, starting out small before her hand was sweeping noticeably downward at an alarming rate. By now he had subconsciously stroking her back, using his thumb to gently urge her closer to him. 

Her leg hooked onto his, and as her hand swooped down, she went back up under his t-shirt, causing him to gasp. He cursed, feeling himself stiffen in his boxers. She hummed in response, teasing his waistband. All control was abandoned when he pulled her back on top of him, positioning her just right on his growing erection, making her inhale sharply. She knew how damp she was, both from tension in the car, and teasing Jim despite her promise. Feeling him hard beneath her gave her more confidence, purposefully moving her hips agonizingly slow, sending waves of pleasure through both of them. His hands were placed on her thighs before making their way up underneath the hem of her shirt, grabbing onto her hips. Feeling his bare hands on such a sensitive area made her whimper, pressing harder onto him. 

"God Pam you're driving me crazy." He pulled her into a kiss, which was more heavy and passionate than the last. There was a new emotional weight to it, eliciting an ache in his heart. She felt the change, stilling the movement of her hips, but continuing to let Jim shift himself upward, slowing the kiss while holding her. She let herself be positioned onto her back, suddenly shy as Jim started a trail of kisses down from her mouth and onto her neck. Her hands traveled to his back, pulling at his shirt in a silent request for him to remove it. He obliged without hesitation, swiftly removing it before returning to the sensitive part of her neck, causing her to squirm and ache for more contact. 

"Can I take your shirt off?" He asked between kisses. She nodded, helping him lift it up over her head. She felt exposed despite the room being dark, wanting his hands back on her. She guided his hand to her breast, mewling when their hips met. She was still in her underwear, adding onto the friction as she grinded against him. It took everything in her not to cry out, wanting to feel him inside her. 

"Please…" She barely managed to get out before Jim went down quickly, removing her underwear slowly. She trembled, feeling his hot breath between her thighs, clutching onto the sheets in anticipation. He ghosted over her inner thigh, licking and nibbling dangerously close to her center. Just as she was about to get impatient, He wrapped his arms around her legs, placing either hand on her hips before realizing why. She moaned when his tongue flicked her clit, causing her to buck upward. Jim chuckled, his breathy laugh sending a vibration through her. Hiss tongue worked her clit, sending shocks of pleasure through her entire body. He sucked lightly, making her cry out his name. He grinned devishely, knowing that she was a writhing mess due to this alone. 

"Jim I need you." Hearing this made him aware of how painfully hard he was, climbing back up to hover over her once again. He felt her push his boxers down, eagerly pulling him closer. He positioned himself against her entrance teasing her enough to make her head dizzy with desire. She felt the slight pressure as he slid in slowly, quietly saying her name as she clung onto him tightly. He paused before moving in and out slowly, kissing her neck while mumbling incoherently. Her face was burning hot, taking him in. He was bigger than what she's had before, her body unused to the new sensation. When he picked up his pace, she reached a hand back down to work her clit. She moaned, feeling pleasure build up in her core. He could feel her tighten underneath him, causing him to release inside her. When she felt Jim finish inside her, it sent her into climax, her body trembling slightly. 

Breathless, he moved over beside her, unable to speak. 

"I'm so glad I didn't keep my promise." He laughed, moving to kiss her cheek. 

"Me too Beesly."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read this and left kudos, I've decided to make this a short fic. I was debating on writing about the aftermath, but I'm just not sure on when I'd end it. But that could change! I'll also be making other fics eventually.


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